What this month has turned into.

I haven't posted here in a few weeks, but I have been keeping up on my resolutions (except for a few days when I went out of town).

At first, my resolutions were easy, in contrast to last month. I actually found my goals to be, in a way, liberating--a breath of fresh air. I loved reading scriptures every day and trying to enjoy days filled with the Spirit.

But after my trip, when I allowed myself to relax on the resolutions and enjoy time with my family, I've had a difficult time getting back into it. In a way, this month has become more about discipline and obedience than spirituality. I've had to really push myself to read scriptures and write every day. But you know what? I've been doing it. For the past few days, I've been able to put a check mark on each resolution, each day. And that feels great.

At first, I was a little upset with myself for how half-hearted I felt about everything. I wanted this month to be extra-spiritual, and instead I've found even a few minutes of scripture reading to be difficult. Why is it so hard? But even though it hasn't gotten that much easier (yet), I've realized that it's okay if this month is not necessarily "extra spiritual." (What exactly would that look like, anyway?) What's important is that I'm doing the things that I know are right and that I know will make me happier in the long run. And if I can do it when I'm not feeling it, it will only become easier and easier. Eventually, it will become a habit, and that's really what I wanted to accomplish this month. Hopefully, I'll be able to continue having the discipline to do the things I want to do.