I'm breaking up with my scale.
No, not because I am at my ideal weight and have complete confidence in myself to stay there. Because I've noticed that the more I check my weight, the less happy I am with myself. Knowing I weigh more than I want to doesn't motivate me to change. Once I see that number on the scale, I start identifying myself with that number and thinking about it. And that only makes me more likely to stay there.
And when it comes right down to it, this month isn't about my weight anyway. It's about being healthy, feeling good, and being in the right shape to do all the things I want to do in life. It's about having a good relationship with my body so I can focus on higher things.
So the number on the scale shouldn't mean anything. Even though it does mean something. It means comparing myself to other people and thinking I'm not good enough.
That's not loving my body; that's hating it. And if I hate my body, I'm just going to end up sabotaging it. And ending up with an even higher number on the scale. It's a vicious cycle.
But there's more to it than just that the truth makes me unhappy. It's also that after reading up a bit on nutrition this year, I've decided to stop blindly trusting the experts when it comes to "ideal body weight." I just don't believe in BMI anymore. It may work for other people, but to me, it's just taking loads of people with varying different body types and putting them into a box. I'm short, but I think I have a larger frame than many women my height or even taller. Also, I've noticed that my body naturally puts on a lot of muscle when I work out; I don't usually find myself skinnier when I exercise more, just more toned. I think I have more natural muscle than a lot of women do. So that could easily be a factor in weight gained for me, at least.
The point of that little rant is just that we're all different. When it comes to weight, I trust my own understanding of my body better than anyone else's. I know better how I'm eating and exercising, and I know how I feel and what kinds of things I can do. A doctor might look at a chart and say I need to lose weight, but in most cases that doctor barely knows me and hardly takes one look at me.
I'm not trying to say that I couldn't benefit from losing a little weight. But focusing on it just isn't good for me, right now at least.
It's not you, Scale, it's me.